What's Self-Love Got to Do With It?

Some people have commented about this self-love initiative I'm facilitating for the month of February, 28 Days of Creative Self-Love. "Isn't that kind of selfish?" "I already have alot of love in my life. Why do I have to love myself unconditionally?" "Just the idea of self-love makes me feel uneasy." "Exactly what do you mean by 'self-love' anyway?" Most people want to find success in relationships, finances, and careers, yet they never consider that the surest path to all of that and more is the journey toward self-love.

Our culture definitely has an issue with what looks like self-absorption. We have many phrases to capture it as a negative state of being. Remember saying things like, "She's stuck on herself," "He's full of himself," or, "She thinks she hung the moon."? Yet, if we don't have a healthy level of what I call "self-orientation," we tend to look to others for approval. Someone else sets your standards, telling you what's okay and not okay, what to wear, where to be. Without self-love, you might keep overly busy to prove your worth to your lovers, friends, or bosses. You might stay at home rather than going out for fear of rejection. Or, like a friend of mine, go out anyway and be the stand-up comic at a party to ensure you're accepted. Lack of unconditional self-love can even spill over into your spiritual/religious life and influence how you feel G-d sees you. It can create obstacles and dampen your dreams and desires.

While it can be a lifelong process, the more you can learn to love yourself, the more fulfilling your life will be. Knowing what makes you happy connects you to your deeper passions and sense of purpose. It gives you room for self-forgiveness and self-advocacy. It means not taking situations too personally, yet being willing to find growth opportunities in every moment. It gives you courage to ask for others' help and guidance, rather than being stubbornly independent and overly tough. When you love yourself, you can dream of a brighter future and then take appropriate and inspired action toward it.

With all of what we get from moving toward unconditionally loving and accepting ourselves "warts and all," who wouldn't want to begin the journey toward self-love?!

If you're interested in the possibility of becoming self-loving, I invite you to participate in 28 Days of Creative Self-Loving, a daily encounter with delicious tools and fun exercises, music and affirmations throughout the month of February. Find more online at www.cherylsbridges.com/services #28Days #CreativeSelfLove

Wait On It...

Ever woke up on a Monday morning, feeling anxious about where you find yourself? There seems like so much to be done, but much of it feels like a "banging gong" or busy work. Here is what Spirit said when I checked in this rainy Monday:

Breathe deeply, finding yourself in a place of calm and peace. Pause and exhale. Repeat as you feel yourself expanding and breathing in…pausing…contracting and withdrawing, breathing out. Pausing again before renewing with inhale. Pausing again before the exhale. Life is surrounded by these pauses, and I invite you to be in the pause. Be in the moment just before the breaking dawn, just before the sun slips down into the ocean. Just before a sneeze. Just before the cry of a baby. Be in the moment of pause where all is rich. Where all is on the verge. Where all is on the threshold.

You wrote this morning about potentiality around you. Surely all of life is full of potential. All of life is waiting to expand, to grow, to blossom. Yet, to wish for expansion and growth and blossoming is to disregard the moment that is. So, be in that rich moment of pause without judgment. Your emotions of loss and grief, your fear and your frozenness are indeed judgments on this very moment to the point that you lose it in wishing that it were anything but.

Sit still in the moment of pause until you are ready to take a step, until you are clear of your direction, until you are invited to move. Be clear, be silent, be patient. And all will come to you. All will ready itself. The path is already made straight except for your own emotional meandering. Except for your own habit of grief, your own habit of expecting to fail, even though you have succeeded in grand ways.

Be at peace with that part of you which is habituated toward sadness. Coddle her, cuddle her, and give her a moment of pause herself. Help her to stand on her own two feet on the verge of what is next. On the verge of potentiality and on the edge of newness. Have her to stand with you and show her that the past is done and the future will never again resemble the past, except for times when you might chose it to be so. Stand in the liminal space, on the threshold, and use this time to prepare yourself for the straight path—mind, body, and spirit. Stand firmly rooted and branching upward until you know clearly what is to be your next step. Wait quietly for insight and inspiration in this space of in-between.

Once you are clear, then and only then, are you to step off the threshold and move into action. Except, this time, your action will be Divinely inspired rather than driven from fear and sadness. Until then, wait there on the verge.

And so it is.